Letting Go

After almost a year of a long distance relationship it has come clear this last month it's not going to work.He has young kids and mine are out of the house for the most part.I cannot move to where he is and he cannot leave his kids and come here.

The hardest and saddest part for me is letting go of the emotional connection we share.It was one l have never had with any man.It's killing us both to let go.He wants to be friends and l thought l would be okay with it.

Until this weekend when he told me he has signed up on a online dating site.All of a sudden the thought of him dating other women made me sick to my stomach.That is when l realized that being friends was out of the question.I don't want to know he is dating.The thought of him kissing someone else makes me see red not green right now.

I hurt it hurts so bad.The days are not so bad l go to work.But the nights are killing me right now this was the time we would talk.I have cried as many tears as l thought l could and sometimes more come.

It scares me that at my age will l ever make a connection like this again?Most likely not is the thought of my girlfriends making me feel even worse.

Why is it just when you think this time l got it right?

It's taken away from you like a good nights sleep?

A Routine Mess

I am not good at with emotional stuff at times.I tend to be one of these people who feel to much and care to much.This last week for a lot of reasons has been a emotional one.My routine is out the door...I think it's running around enjoying the spring like weather.

But right now for me eating,sleeping and my love of reading is all out of sync.

Once l work through the emotional stuff l know l will be back to where it was before.

In the mean time if you see my routine can you send it home to me?

Here You Come Again

Why can't the past stay in the past?
Why now?
What now?

Female Private Investigator's And Their Men

I love mystery novels as l have stated.I really like books with strong female character's.Female's that are not just one layer and the writer never get's that past no matter how many books they write in a series.

But what drives me crazy is how some of these women date or the male character's in their life.

Stephanie Plum is one that comes to mind.The woman is a bounty hunter okay l admit not a great one and she get's lucky from the way the books are written.What drives me to want to scream,is her waffling between Joe and Ranger.Yes l know it's the classic good boy bad boy thing.I just wish sometimes Janet Evanovich would make up her mind who Stephanie is going to end up with.Yes l know the longer she drags it out the more books she can sell.After all we want to know who is will be with in the end.

Another character that comes to mind with man problems is Kinsey Millhone.Here is a woman that can solve some pretty complex and sometimes emotionally nasty cases.Yet she does not seem to be able to find a man that meet's her strength.Now l know Kinsey is written in a way that she has baggage (don't we all?)and likes being alone.But even the strongest woman at some point wants a man her life that is going be there longer than six months.

I could go on and on about other character's in other books doing the same thing l won't.

What l do like is how Anne Perry has written her two female leads.The two women are married to very different men in the Victorian era.These men seem to have no trouble with their wife's being strong women and accept their flaws.Just like most women are in the real world.

Okay l admit l have given this a lot of thought.

But does anyone else have a problem with the way some female character's are written by women writers?

Hello All

I am not new to the world of blogging.But what l am new to is having a blog be open to the public to read.I started this mainly because l follow the the bakingworm on blogger.She had asked if people could start using a name for her weekly book poll.I went one better and set up this blog.

I love to read mysteries being a favorite.After that comes any kind of history or historical fiction.And true crime books which is ironic seeing where l work and you must think l get sick of crime.Not really l love to figure out what makes people tick,why they think,say and do.

I have two kids a daughter in the army and son going into the last year of high school.Gulp when did that happen?

So come back and see where l go with this blog.

After all l have some great stories to tell about where l work to start with.